No matter how your kids are playing together and no matter how they bond during playtime, let’s face the fact that there are things or situations wherein they come into a point of having misunderstandings and disagreements. A sibling rivalry occurs when there is jealousy, fighting and competition between children, and it’s really a big concern for parents that shouldn’t be taken for granted. As parent, you have to fix things right so that they won’t grow with the idea of competing to their younger or older brother and sister, because it may develop into personality problems later on.
Sibling rivalry is considered normal, but it can become a problem if handled wrongly by parents, but what causes this? A child is developing and finding to define them as an individual and when they feel that they are getting unequal and undivided attention from their parents, and they see that it is more given to their brother or sister they will form the idea of competing for your attention. It also happens before a new baby is coming, wherein they feel threatened by the arrival of their sibling. So before the new baby is born, you should explain and reassure them that equal love and attention will be provided for them.
Here are helpful tips on how to manage sibling rivalry:
- Don’t compare your children in front of them, because it will embarrass them and their self-esteem will be affected.
- Make them feel important and treat them as a unique person or individual.
- Teach and allow your older child to help in caring the younger brother or sister, this is done through your supervision.
- Help your children to have a healthy sibling relationship, teach them to play without quarrelling and educate them the importance of sharing.
- Never show favoritism, be calm and objective when disciplining them.
- Come up with basic rules, for example: no bullying and fighting, approach mom or dad if something is wrong etc.
- Never look for someone to blame or punish, be objective rather than subjective and solve their problem in a good way and make them friends again.
- At an early age teach them already how to be a good brother or sister and inculcate positive life views in order for them to do what is always right.
Something to note: Parenting is not a race, and we all have our unique ways of handling it, that’s why we should never compare ourselves to other parents.
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